Nomad

Feels like a nomad in a strange land,

I am here, but don’t know where I belong.

A familiar gaze, a familiar voice; takes me to the memories of yester-years,

An unknown smile and a strange comfort pulls me back from the life I left.

I too have dreams and visions from a far away land,

And I know I will be gone long before the doom descends.

It’s not a cry nor a call, but some unknown strings that pull me away,

I too want to belong, to be rooted and grounded…but alas these thoughts, these strings lure me out.

I may belong here with my body and earth,

But oh this twisted ether, this soul so dis-content.

Like an eagle I will soar high, like a fish drift away fast…

After all I am a nomad at my heart and soul…

To the unknown, to the adventure I belong!

I have an ambition- To Survive !

“There are moments in life, no matter what your posture… your soul is at its knees”

On 13^th July 2011, as the world witnessed one more terror threat… I prayed!

I prayed for a leader cum celebrity who will fast for my problems as I go on with one more routine of my life. I pray for a shift in political party as I go on with the same route to my work place. I pray for some more security even after a steep high on my taxes this year. I pray for one safe street without traffic jams, potholes and bombs!!

I walk down a crowded street with my soul praying and a realization downs on me- no matter what we think, how we plan… the final act is in god’s hand. What I irony when just a few days back I was predicted the most awesome future by a fortune teller. Today I wonder whether all the people who died, ever had been foretold their end!

It’s a Hindu belief that we suffer in this life due to our sins in previous birth; in that pretext I guess ‘Kasab’ and all the prisoners must have been holy man last birth. They have the luxury, security and all the paid -media coverage of a celebrity. Come to think of it, what will their plans for future be!

I did not log -in to social sites since morning, I am scared as I don’t have answers for all the people on my list who are not from Mumbai. They are waiting for us to react-take a stand of being resilient once again or brave enough to fight back. I know I don’t have the courage anymore. I am tired of complaining about all possible things right from my mobile service lapse, commutation problems to my security in surviving in this city.

I know, as a Mumbaikar either I am mocked or worshipped as a hero for my spirit… But let me tell you this I had other plans for my life.

For instance just a few days back a much esteemed person from the advertising fraternity asked me a very important question, “Where do I see myself in next few years?”… Well then I had plans- a family vacation, a published book, ideator … etc etc etc…

It never occurred to me that what my POA (Plan ofAction) lacked the most important ambition -An ambition to survive in this city. Even after paying hoards in tax I pray every day to reach home safely to my mom, I pray that every monsoon my city does not get flooded with water, I pray I stay safe in local trains and hotels, I pray not to be killed like a dog in a street rage or stampede, I pray that the parcel delivered at my place should be a book and not a bomb….

And after all this I am called a nerd with complete lack of ambition… As I struggle one more day in this city I mock at those who have a 5 year plan or an agenda… I don’t understand how such terms came to be coined as ambition when practically I see otherwise.

After all this, have I stopped living???

I say NO. I am just learning to Survive!!

Half of twelve

Half of twelve is anything you desire,

Hexagon or a six sided polygon,

It can be sides of a cube or the highest dice

And if you are a bee, it better be the hive.

Half of twelve is devils delight, prides folly (Envy –the sixth sin)

Or it could be string of music and the david’s star.

Oh! Remember it is just six degree of seperation that makes us friends

For foes’ lie but six feet under.

Make a curve, Make a loop there are no tricks for making six

Half of twelve is neither more nor less.

Life little less ordinary!

All I need is -

A little hope to hold on, a little courage to move on

A little quest to unfold the mystery, a little adventure to imprint the journey

A little mischief for the memorable smiles, a little tear drop for all the remembrance

All I ask for is a life little less ordinary, little less mundane

Ordinary things don’t hold me on; Ordinary routines don’t interest me,

So here I hold on to my life which is a little less lame…

Because they say dreamers can’t be tamed!

Alice wonders’

Round and round the spinning curl,

Round is the clock and round is the world.

Rotten is the apple, forgotten is the tale,

Behold the dream, it’s a fading trail.

How long until the sun break!

How long will the heart ache!

Come rain, come shine...

I have secrets that are just mine.

Woven are my tales, Hurtful are my falls,

Memories of the suede give me the call.

I know its oscillating, to and fro…

I am searching corners across my brow.

It’s a doorway, it’s a flight…

Around the city such is the plight.

The queen is gone and stolen are the hopes…

I traded my soul for this scope!

Alice’s Retort to the Red Queen !

Drowning with information, starving for wisdom

Self righteous rule or the rule of self

One man’s ship, one man’s law,

Justice is always blindfolded….

With eyes closed, conscious flows…

Turning the chaos into rhythm

Lost is the thought, lost is the cause

When blind men decide to envisage

Let black be black and white be white

For fiction cannot replace facts…

Splash the colours, drown yourself

Create a tangled maze… to untangle victory

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

Guilty is the heart that talent prides

Support dogma, replace genius with reasons

Experience to reign is not the same as ‘Right to rule’!

Dreams of White Rabbit

If you go chasing rabbits

And you know you're going to fall,

Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar

Has given you a call!

Such is the story that unfolds the mystery -go ask every heart that follows and hooks up to its dreams. A vision, a change, aspirations and inspirations-it’s that painful journey into the unknown; yet so euphoric that ecstasy cannot compete with it. Begin this journey to chase your dreams, grab them and enslave them forever. This is a wish, an ambition so pure and undiluted that you sacrifice your comfort to achieve it.

Slit my veins and give me wings to fly to this unknown. Let me be remembered as the one who pursued and captured....Not as the one who restrained and lived on one more day....